Dear Momma

This Mother's Day I find that I appreciate you even more as a mother of two than as a mother of one.  I am so thankful that God knit me together in your womb and allowed me to be raised by you, for you are the best mom that I could ask for.  You are truly worthy of praise and emulation.  You teach me so much about what it means to be a mom, wife, friend, woman of God...
    A few words I think of when I think of you are: selflessness, servant, sacrifice, intercessor, studious, assiduous, and shopper.
    I think selflessness, servitude, and sacrifice go hand in hand and were ever apparent on you most recent trip to see us.  I don't know that I could ever thank you enough for all that you did for us on that trip, preparing things to bring for us, buying groceries, cooking, doing dishes, doing laundry, playing with Silas, holding Evelynn, getting bit by a dog (you sacrificed you leg for us), and being away from your own home and life for 6 whole weeks.  But it isn't just with your own daughters that you are this way, but you expend yourself for others as well.  You and Dad have been an amazing example to me of giving of yourself (not just money) to help others in need, whether physical, emotional, psychological... You are such a great friend, mentor, surrogate mother/sister to everyone who needs it.  It is not easy to be selfless and I know that I still have a long way to go as I learn to be the mother God wants me to be, but thank you so much for showing me what it looks like.
    Your prayers for me/us mean the world to me and have moved many mountains/mole hills.  I love so much  that you pray for me in the middle of the night (the middle of my day) and all throughout the day as well.  It brings me comfort to know that I am bathed in your prayers and I pray that I will be faithful to do so great a service to my children as well.
    Studious- I so appreciate the way you study the Word and are constantly learning new things in the world around you.  Though you have much wisdom, years of life experience and years of studying the word, you approach things so humbly, always ready to learn something new.  I will always remember coming home from school one day to find the kitchen table covered with commentaries and Bible dictionaries as you earnestly sought to find an answer to something.  I am also deeply touched by the way you seek to learn things from me.  As one who is often too proud in my knowledge or experience, I greatly admire that you are a life long learner.
     Your diligence astounds me.  Yes, you know how to play, but you have modeled to me how to be diligent in the home and in ministry.  If you are given a job (or take on a job) I am 100% sure that you will complete it with excellence.  I am learning that moms are professional jugglers.  They don't start out that way, they learn, and you have learned the art of multi-tasking well.
  Ok, so I was on an S kick and I had to throw in a little humor, but you have to admit, that you are good at shopping.  Like I said, I so appreciated you doing our grocery shopping for us in Delhi, but it certainly doesn't stop at groceries.  As a girl I love that you love to shop for your daughters, and I have to say that I have caught this from you.  I rarely buy anything for myself because I am stingy, but when it comes to my kids, it is hard to resist.  Thank you for being wise in your purchases and generous toward others.  I would have gone unclothed and deprived of good food in seminary had it not been for you :).
   That are many other things I could say about you, but I just want you to know that I think you are the best, I love you a bunch, and I pray that I will learn to be a mom and woman like you!

Giving little one a bath

Hurt back, puncture wounds in calf, loving on my big boy

Singing praises with Silas

Three generations 

Blue-eyed Stoupa

I am sitting here in my hotel room staring out the window at the the blue eyes of the largest Buddhist Stoupa in the world.  What is a stoupa? I don't really know.  It a large round dome with a gold tower on the the top and a face much the totems on a totem pole.  We went to eat at a Tibetan restaurant today and it was situated in the shopping area around the stoupa. All round the outside wall of the stoupa are prayer wheels and pilgrims/tourists come along and spin the wheels- for what purpose I don't know.  It is a tourist site, a world heritage site, a place people come to look for faith.  There are a lot of people from all over the world here in this city looking for faith.  I met a girl yesterday from China who came here to look for faith and now she is trying to get a visa for India so that she can find faith there.  It breaks my heart.
    And it breaks my heart perhaps more that many of the people here looking for faith are from the West.  Many from European countries where the Christian faith was once strong, where great theologians who shaped movements and missionaries who traveled to distant lands once resided.  I that there is still faith there in those lands, but it is so sad to me how many from the West come to find faith in this land of darkness, where the idols stare you in the face and shout out to me, "I have eyes but I cannot see, I have ears but I cannot hear, I have hands but I cannot help you".  What is it that drives people to travel to distant lands to find the answer in images made of wood, gold, and clay when their creator and saviour is calling out to them from the mountains, seas, flowers, trees... "Here I am! I love you! I have eyes and I see you, I have ears and I hear you, I sent my son son for you so that you no longer have to strive with sin and the futility of this world..."  And yet they don't listen.  Their eyes are blinded.
    And so as I stare into the blue eyes, surrounded by Buddhist prayer flags, I send a petition to my God who hears.  Save these lost and searching souls!!!

Baking with Fruit

I have a child who refuses to eat fruit. I think he would like it if he would put it in his mouth, but he won't.  So, during Silas and mommy time we have started doing some baking with fruit.  We experimenting with replacing butter with different fruit purees.  So far we have make: Banana Mango Bread, Banana Peanut Butter Cookies, Pumpkin Spice Granola, Mango Coconut Granola, and Banana Spice Granola.  I try not to use much sugar either.  The bread didn't have any sugar in it and the other two just had brown sugar or jaggery (dehydrated molasses) in less quantity than it would normally call for because of the fruit's sweetness.
    I really like the cookies we made today.  I didn't measure, but it went something like this:
1 cup mashed banana
1/3 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 cup whole grain flour
some baking soda
some baking powder
some cinnamon
1/2 tsp vanilla
oats

Silas helped me measure and thus it is impossible to get an accurate read.  I started with about a cup of flour and then kept adding until I had the right consistency. 190 C degree oven for about 12 minutes.

Mango Coconut Granola
6 cups oats
1 cup pureed mango
3/4 cup brown sugar/jaggery (varies depending on sweetness of mango)
1Tbsp honey
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp turmeric
pinch of salt

 Spread out on cookie sheet. (you will have to use a few cookie sheets). Bake in 160 degree Celsius oven for 15 minutes.  Flip and then bake another 10-20 minutes depending on size of clusters.
Add shredded coconut and raisins (that is what I had available but other dried fruits or nuts would be good as well)

Learning from those with "less"

Life here is not as convenient as life in America.  It is necessary to sweep and mop the floors every day, we have no dishwasher, no clothes dryer (so thankful for a washing machine), all food is made from scratch (pretty much)... For this reason, I have been praying for a while that God would send us a reliable house helper who could do some cooking and cleaning so that I could focus on my children, learning language, and doing other ventures (because I could seriously spend all day just cleaning my house and cooking).  And God has answered this request and she was worth the wait!  She is not only my house helper, but she is my teacher in so many ways.  We spend about 2 hours a day speaking in Hindi about all different things and during this time she teaches me not only language and culture, but how to see our world differently and how to appreciate God more.
    Sangita doesn't have much.  She lives with her husband, father-in-law, son, and two daughters (all teens).  Her husband used to work to support the family, but he was injured about 5 years ago and has been unable to work since then.  They have been living off of the father's pention, government rations, and whatever income she brings in.  While the government gives flour and rice, the flour is mixed with dust and the rice is full of bugs. They have a house, but electricity is limited, they pump their water from a well, and she cooks part of their meal outside over a wood fire.  But she knows that for everything she must give thanks to God for his goodness and provision for them.  She has told me stories of those with less.  People who work out in the sun all day long carrying dirt on their heads...and yet they praise the Lord.  They praise him because He has recently saved them out of darkness and into his glorious light!  They know what it is like to live life without God and they are so thankful for the hope, joy, peace that they now have.  They know that even though they have so very little, they have everything they need!
   And so I think about my own life.  I think about how it is easy to complain when the power goes off while you are taking a shower, or when you come home and no water comes out of your faucet, or when your a/c drips water...and yet there are so many things to be thankful for in that sentence.  God I am so thankful that I have electricity most of the time to run lights, fans, ovens, a/cs... I am thankful for a warm shower that is inside my house and has water coming from it 99% of the time...I am thankful for clean water that comes through a tap and pure drinking water that comes easily through my filter...I am thankful for an a/c in 100+ temperatures.  And even if I didn't have those things, I am thankful for a family to spend time with by flashlight, neighbors who generously give us their water, food to eat, good health, friends who pray for me...
And even if I didn't have those things, I am thankful that I have hope.  I have hope of a future glory far beyond anything that I can imagine on earth.  Hope of spending eternity with my creator, sustainer, redeemer, God who loves me so much that he gave his son for me.  So thankful that my sins are forgiven and that I am at peace with the almighty God!  

Content to Angry

I just love the progression of these photos from content, to annoyed, frustrated, and down right angry.

"Kiss me and I'll whack you in the face"

"The hat is the last straw"

Picture Dump

We are finally headed home.  Our flight was delayed so we are standing around waiting for Evelynn's first flight.

Back home! Walking to baggage claim.

Play time with dad.  This is our upstairs landing that I turned into a playroom.  I have wanted to post pictures of our house, but I still haven't really decorated after almost a year.  I designed the storage unit on the left and had the bins brought from the USA.

Our adopted "aunties" painting Evelynn's letters to hang on the wall.  This is the living room.  Notice the completely blank walls.  

Evelynn sleeping under her mosquito net.  In this heat I am so thankful she doesn't need to be swaddled to sleep.

Bath time!

Hangin' with daddy on the bed.  E sleeps in our room right now.

not such a great picture of Evelynn, but it works.

While Baby Sleeps Continued... labor story

It seems these days that the only time I spend on the computer is with baby in one arm, and typing with one hand just takes forever.  So I am finally getting around to the birth story and some pictures if Evelynn keeps sleeping.
I got to the hospital at 8 in the morning and it seemed like it took forever to get through the admissions process.  When I got up to the labor and delivery area they told me (using my middle name) that I could just go wait in my recovery room since my c-section wasn't scheduled until 10:30.  I firmly told them that I was not having a c-section, but an induction and my name is not Elizabeth.  To which they said, but you are on our list as scheduled for a c-section... and then they finally figured out that my name is not Elizabeth and they got me settled into my room.  By this time I was crying because I just wanted to have the baby and was frustrated with the confusion and the nurse was concerned that I was in pain and didn't like that I was crying.
   So they started the induction around 9am but implanting a little tablet, and some very minor contractions started, but I was walking around and feeling pretty good.  They checked me around noon and I had progressed a little, so they gave me another tablet to "increase my pain" as the nurse said.  Shortly after that the doctor came in and she informed me that the baby's heart rate had been too high since the time of my admission and she did not like it.  If it didn't come down within thirty minutes I would have a c-section.  I thought, "oh great, I waited a week past her due date only to have to have a c-section!"- but we prayed and called my parents to pray.  Unfortunately they started prepping me for a c-section (hooked me up to an iv, shaved me, made me stay in bed with the monitor hooked up), and then we started to see the heart rate slow down.  The doctor came in again and noticed the decrease so she gave me another 30 minutes.  At this point my water broke and the contractions really started to pick up.  I always seem to be stuck in bed when I am in labor so I don't know what it is like to try to manage contractions the normal way.  These contractions were unproductive (still at 3cm) and since it seemed like I would continue to be stuck in bed, I decide to get an epidural to move things along.
    I actually think all I would have needed to do was go through the process of getting an epidural without actually getting one.  Unlike in America, they made me move from my bed onto a another bed so that they could wheel me over to the Operating Theater where they then moved me to the operating table.  There I had to sit up straight with my legs Indian style while they cleaned me and implanted the catheter.  I was having contractions all the while, but they were much less painful in this position than laying down in the bed with the monitor on.  Once the catheter was in place they moved me back to a different room (they had moved us) where I went back to the bed got the monitor hooked back up, and the medicine started flowing. By this time it was 4pm.  The epidural did not numb me as much as the one in America- though I did not feel the contractions, I could still feel my feet tingling and other things that I won't write about here.  The doctor came in to check me at 5pm.  I was fully dilated (probably had been for a while since I had been feeling an urge to push almost the entire time I had been back in the room).  So they doctor just said to lay there and push if I felt like it while she went and got changed.  I thought, "this is strange/different".  So I laid there and pushed while only slightly propped up and my legs flat.  About 10 minutes later the doctor came back and said, "we have to act fast, the heart rate is falling".  So they finally propped my legs up a little (i couldn't do it myself) but they didn't prop my back up at all, and then I had two or three nurses pushing down on my belly while I tried to push, though I couldn't really feel they contraction and they weren't really telling me.  The doctor gave me a rather large episiotomy because she wanted that baby out fast, and in 10 minutes she was.
  They whisked her away so fast that they doctor didn't even look to see if it was a girl or a boy.  I told JP to run after them with the camera while sat in bed get stitched up thinking, that wasn't a very satisfying labor, but  praise God I have a healthy baby!  I still wonder if the rush wasn't just so that the doctor could go home at a normal hour.

Walking around drinking OJ after my first induction

what was going on behind the curtain while I got stitched up, I called to JP to double check that we actually had a girl.

3720 grams

I finally got to see my baby girl before they took her away again.

They finally brought me my baby so that I could hold and nurse her, but only after I demanded it.

Back in our recovery room.