As we prepare to leave our current residence tomorrow, we have been inundated with invitations for dinner and lunch. Some of these invitations were from other expats, but most of them were from our Indian friends- and it has highlighted to me a few of the differences between our customs and those of our host country. So let me paint two contrasting pictures for you.
Dinner #1
We are asked to arrive after 7:30 pm. When we arrive dinner is almost ready and we are directed to sit around the coffee table while the husband talkes with us and the wife and two daughters finish things in the kitchen (though the two daughters came out occasionally to talk and to entertain Silas). They bring the covered dishes out one at a time and place them on the coffee table next to the stack of plates. Once all of the food is out, the father prays (this is a Christian family), and we are given a plate and directed to serve ourselves. On the table: fried basmati rice, curried-bone-in Chicken cut into pieces, butter paneer, beets, cucumber and tomato marinated salad, daal, and a special imitation enchilada stuffed with potato (an aside: the hostess is a chef and her food is really good!). As we eat the wife is still in the kitchen and only the father and oldest daughter are eating with us. The other daughter is serving us and helping with Silas, who was not the easiest to do with with the food all at easy grab level. The wife came out and chatted some to make sure that the food was ok and that we had everything we needed. JP stuffed himself, I had plenty even though Silas succeeded in kicking my plate off the table, and then it was time for dessert. Fresh Gilebis with Dahi (a gilebi is like a funnel cake except crispy and very sweet and dahi is plain yogurt). The wife and other daughter at after we left.
Dinner #2
We were asked to arrive at 6pm. When we arrived the dinner was almost ready and the table was in the process of being set. While we waited for dinner, we all hung near the kitchen to chat and help the wife with the last minute details like filling water cups... When dinner was all ready and on the table, we all sat down, the husband blessed the food, and then we passed the dishes around the table to serve ourselves. On the table: Gumbo, rice, fresh veggies with dip. We all talked and after we had finished, dessert was served - peanut butter bars and coffee. After dinner we sat in the living room and talked until our auto came to pick us up at 7:45.
The thing that stands out to me the most about the differences between the two dinners if the relationship between the wife and her guests. It is pretty much the norm here that the wife (and other women of the home) do not eat with the guests, but wait and eat the leftovers. This is sad to me. It is also a little awkward because I have to eat with the men. At another dinner we went to the women of the house were eating at the same time, but they were sitting on the bed in the other room while we ate around the coffee table with the men. I have found however that this is not always the case.
Dinner #1
We are asked to arrive after 7:30 pm. When we arrive dinner is almost ready and we are directed to sit around the coffee table while the husband talkes with us and the wife and two daughters finish things in the kitchen (though the two daughters came out occasionally to talk and to entertain Silas). They bring the covered dishes out one at a time and place them on the coffee table next to the stack of plates. Once all of the food is out, the father prays (this is a Christian family), and we are given a plate and directed to serve ourselves. On the table: fried basmati rice, curried-bone-in Chicken cut into pieces, butter paneer, beets, cucumber and tomato marinated salad, daal, and a special imitation enchilada stuffed with potato (an aside: the hostess is a chef and her food is really good!). As we eat the wife is still in the kitchen and only the father and oldest daughter are eating with us. The other daughter is serving us and helping with Silas, who was not the easiest to do with with the food all at easy grab level. The wife came out and chatted some to make sure that the food was ok and that we had everything we needed. JP stuffed himself, I had plenty even though Silas succeeded in kicking my plate off the table, and then it was time for dessert. Fresh Gilebis with Dahi (a gilebi is like a funnel cake except crispy and very sweet and dahi is plain yogurt). The wife and other daughter at after we left.
We were asked to arrive at 6pm. When we arrived the dinner was almost ready and the table was in the process of being set. While we waited for dinner, we all hung near the kitchen to chat and help the wife with the last minute details like filling water cups... When dinner was all ready and on the table, we all sat down, the husband blessed the food, and then we passed the dishes around the table to serve ourselves. On the table: Gumbo, rice, fresh veggies with dip. We all talked and after we had finished, dessert was served - peanut butter bars and coffee. After dinner we sat in the living room and talked until our auto came to pick us up at 7:45.
The thing that stands out to me the most about the differences between the two dinners if the relationship between the wife and her guests. It is pretty much the norm here that the wife (and other women of the home) do not eat with the guests, but wait and eat the leftovers. This is sad to me. It is also a little awkward because I have to eat with the men. At another dinner we went to the women of the house were eating at the same time, but they were sitting on the bed in the other room while we ate around the coffee table with the men. I have found however that this is not always the case.
No comments:
Post a Comment