Shepherding Their Hearts

Raaja, Amir, and Santoshi- 12, 10, and 6- The youngest of seven children, living with their parents who are laborers working to build out neighborhood. 
They live in one of the unfinished houses, with no windows, no indoor plumbing, hijacked electricity, no furniture, not fans... Unable to afford education, they spend most of the day playing or doing odd jobs around the neighborhood like mowing (not easy), hauling rocks, pulling weeds...
They are children- so excited by little things, thrilled to have toys to play with- and yet they know hardship.  Often they come to my house hungry, wearing holey clothing that is held up by ropes.  They have no boundaries- coming into our house without knocking, playing with whatever they find...and yet they also know "their place".  Shocked at first when I offered them food or water to drink from our cups, amazed that we would give them a ball to play with outside. 
I feel for these children, I want to help them, I want to teach them to read and let them know that they are more than what their society tells them they are.  And yet there are days when I just want them to go away.  When I want them to stop yelling in my house, messing up my child's toys, pinching Silas's cheeks, hitting eachother and giving Silas a bad example.  And I wonder if having these kids in my house so much is protecting Silas and giving him what he needs. 
Then I realize how much they have to learn that we can teach them.  Though their parents love them, they show them no discipline but a fist, and the only time they can give them is the time spent working to provide for their needs.  But I can teach them discipline, I can give them time.
  I was talking to a friend the other day about how to discipline Silas and I realized that I can apply the same thing to them.  I can shepherd their hearts, point them to the gospel in the way I speak to them, in the way I correct them.  Teach them to honor God and eachother.  Teach them that their actions have eternal consequences, that their actions are sinful...  Oh but I need help.  How do I say all of that in Hindi?  How do I balance showing them love and teaching them with caring for my own family, helping my husband, teaching Silas? 

Thankful for the Process

I apologize that it has almost been two month since I have posted.  So much has happened, and yet really, so little has happened.  The first trimester of pregnancy sent me on a physical and emotional battle in which I entered culture shock and partial lock down where I didn't leave my house much, partly because I didn't feel well, and partly because I didn't want to. 

But now I am on the other side, feeling a lot better, and finally getting back into life.  I am learning that I have to be patient.  Establishing life in a new location is a long process.  We have to work out all of the kinks in our house, learn how to pay bills, where to buy food, how to get our clothes dry during rainy season... We have to make new friends- learn their culture, times and methods of getting together... Find places to play, to work off stress, to relax...  Just figure out a routine of life in which we can thrive as a family.  I wanted it to happen right away, to immediately just get in the swing of things, but it didn't.  It is a slow process and instead of stressing because we are not there yet, I need to start enjoying the process and take it one day and step at a time.  Eventually we will get there.  Eventually this will be home and maybe our neighbors will see us as insiders.  But for now I am thankful that one neighbor came over to borrow a ladder, another brought us some sweets, and another took JP to pay our electric bill.  I am also thankful that although they barely know us, they trust us enough to send their kids over to play (uninvited) and graciously welcome Silas into their homes when he enters uninvited.