Photo shoot

Let me just say a few words about our family photo shoot: sick, grumpy, uncooperative,melancholy, tired...So I guess that actually just describes my children. We got a few good photos out of the mix, but we did not have one picture in which both children were looking at the camera- and smiling, well that is too much to ask. 

 

We did manage to get a few smiles from Evelynn

Twins

Sibling reality- "let me pick Evelynn's nose"

Now let me pull on her ear

Now I will put my fingers in her mouth

"Mommy, Silas is bothering me and you just keep taking my picture"

back when she was happy

The only smile out of Silas all day

My Little Singer

Silas loves to sing, but I have not done a very good job of getting his singing on camera. We were driving down the street the other day and Silas was singing one of his Scripture songs, so I pulled out the camera and recorded it. In the background you can get a little bit of an idea of what the main street of our part of town looks like. 

When going to Church Isn't Worship

On most Sundays we attend a church that has about 250-300 people in attendance. The pastor preaches good sermons from the Bible over a good sound system, the music is upbeat- Christ-centered..., there is a projector that displays the words of the songs and the Bible passage, and the people all around us are engaged in worship.  It is actually a really good environment in which to learn God's word and worship him, and yet I find myself doing the exact opposite of worship when I go to church- I complain.
   Last week looked something like this...
Rain- lots of rain- JP let me and Evelynn out of the car and then he parked. We were on time (early) so he got an easy parking spot. We got upstairs and started singing, but Silas wanted to run around (out the sanctuary and down the wheel chair ramp that the kids use as a slide), and Evelynn was being loud and squirmy because she didn't get her full nap in before we headed to church. So I don't think any of us ended up singing during the music time.  When it was sermon time it was JP's turn to take Silas down to the kid class (one of has to go otherwise he runs around and sometimes even into the street because no one is watching him). I kept Evelynn with me and tried to feed her at the back of the sanctuary hidden under my dupata, but she is now to the age where she cannot eat with distractions, so after trying to feed her on the floor, I finally went downstairs to try to find a place to feed her.  I went back upstairs to try to listen to the rest of the sermon, and though it sounded like a good one, Evelynn was too squirmy for me to be able to concentrate enough to understand the Hindi, so I just went back downstairs to find JP and just go.  JP and Silas were just coming out to find us, so we walked the short distance to the car in the rain and then noticed that we were completely boxed in.  With the help of some random guy, we finally made it out, but we were complaining and wondering what the point of going to church was anyway since we didn't sing, didn't hear the sermon, and didn't stay around long enough to talk to anyone.
   So this morning we really didn't want to go to church, but we couldn't figure out where else we could go- I felt guilty not going- so we went.  And the complaining started- where are we supposed to park so that we are not blocking anyone else in and not blocked in ourselves? How to avoid walking in mud, Silas making too much noise, Evelynn squirming and not wanting to sleep...Finally Evelynn and I left to find a place to change her diaper and as I was doing so I thought- going to church isn't worship- I am just complaining.  And I had to confess this.  Because worship is not about being able to sing the songs or listen to sermon... worship is about the attitude of my heart.  I could go to church and not sing one song or understand one word of the sermon, but worship God just with my heart. Going to church does not = worship, singing a "worship song" does not = worship, listening to a sermon does not = worship.  But a heart of praise, a heart of thanksgiving, a heart of submission.
    I am thankful that we went to church today.  Though we did not hear much of the sermon, we hung around until the end and got to talk to a lot of people and make some contacts that will hopefully lead to fellowship. And hopefully next week I will go to church with a heart of worship rather than complaint- as we learn to do church with bad parking lots, no child care and another language. 

And some with Silas

Silas is 2 3/4.  He is getting to be so grown up in many ways and then in others he is definitely 2.  He tries to be independent, but he also like help with some things. He has been going to school 3 days a week and really likes it! 

It normally starts out innocently.  Silas will lovingly lay his head on Evelynn, she will smile and grab his hair...and it eventually ends with Silas sitting on top of her and me splitting them up before he jumps on her. 

Happy Independence Day!

My big boy is such a talker.  I don't spend a lot of time with 2 year olds, but I think Silas is pretty smart.  He likes to talk about all kinds of things, like going to the "blue doctor" and Bangladesh. He can identify the letter of the alphabet and tell you what sound each letter makes. His school says that he is learning rhymes in Hindi, but I haven't heard them yet.
   Silas loves to run- and he loves to run away.  He also loves riding in airplanes, autos, taxis, trains, cars and would be super excited if he got to ride in a helicopter.
  Silas still loves to read books and he has started "reading" to himself more.  Today I watched Silas on a video monitor all during his nap today because he has started doing some bad things during nap time.  He did not sleep a wink, but he kept singing, talking to himself, and reading books.
  Silas loves to laugh! I love my little Silas man even if these illogical twos are driving me crazy.

6 month Sweetie

Sweetie is a good word to describe Evelynn at 6 months, that and a little toot, wiggle worm, squeeler, fireball.  I tell you, that girl is going to be a handful once she figures out how to get moving.  Just to give example, the other day I sat Evelynn on the floor in Silas's room while I started a load of laundry a few feet away, and when I turned around she was gone.  I quickly found her playing with toys under Silas' bed. Then, I put her hair in pig tails yesterday.  I set her down to strip the sheets off the bed, turned around and one rubber band was missing- swallowed.  I gotta keep my eyes on that girl!

I put one pigtail back too far so you can't see it from the front.  It took forever to get a picture of the top/back view because She kept turning to look at the camera.

Before we had fully decided on our name for our girl, I hesitated with Evelynn because I knew that it would be difficult for the people around here to say.  And I was right.  I don't think anyone says it correctly.  It normally comes out as "Ellen", "Evan", "Elyn" or some variation. I have thrown around the idea of giving her a Hindi name, but I just can't decide.  I should just have people call her Sophia.  Of course everyone calls her "Guria" meaning "doll". They say that she looks exactly like a doll.

At this point Evelynn has tried to eat oats, banana, and rice cereal, but she hasn't really taken to any of them.  I think she is just too full from her milk and isn't hungry.  It is hard for me to get her to drink much milk before she goes to bed around 7:15, so she has been getting up around 10:30 every night to feed and then one more time before my alarm goes off at 5:30.  Silas was sleeping from 7:30-6 by 4 months, so I am having a difficult time figuring her out. One thing I know is that she eats when she wants to- you can't make her stock up on milk or cereal before going to bed.

Funny Habits: She is not a peaceful eater.  She is always playing with hair or looking around while she nurses.  She always puts her left hand behind her head before she goes to sleep- it is a good signal that she is sleepy.

She just got in 2 teeth.
Still in mostly 3-6 month clothing

Our Music Prodigy (per Aunt Hannah's request)

Today was a big day for Evelynn- she sat at the table with the family for dinner and ate rice water from a spoon, then she sat up without any support.  Here she is playing her piano.  If you hear Grammy in the background, no she is not here, she was watching on Skype.

My Daddy

Blessed, thankful, humbled to have a earthly father who is such a sweet reflection of our heavenly Father.  Thank you for being first and foremost a follower of Christ who seeks after God every day.  Because of your relationship with God I can understand more clearly what it means to have God as my Father.  Thank you for all of the time that you spent with us growing up.  You worked so hard, many long hours, and yet you were always present in our lives.  I never remember you missing an event in my life, but remember all of the times that you were there and continue to be there.  I still treasure our time in Indian Princesses and am thankful for coaching our softball team and never getting angry or frustrated that we never won.
   When I think of you I think of a leader who always puts others above himself.  As a father of daughters I know that you gave up a lot of your own desires and interests in order to be there for us and I thank you.  You are so giving not only to your daughters, sons-in-law and grandchildren, but to everyone.  You are truly a remarkable man- both book and street smart, successful, admired.  You are a man of integrity and I greatly appreciate that. It says a lot that you are respected by so many people in both secular and Christian circles, but you are a family man.  I am thankful for the wisdom that you have offered to others through the years that I have also gleaned from.
    I am tired and this isn't coming together very well, but I just wanted to let you know that I am so thankful for the amazing daddy God gave me and I love you so much! I am also thankful that my children have such an amazing Gramps!

I have always loved sitting on my daddy's lap!

You Know You are a TCK When...

My children are US citizens, but they are not like most American kids I know.  My children live in India, but they are not like most Indian children I know. My children are Third Culture Kids (TCK).  Silas spent the day playing with some American friends of ours and something he told them made me think of this list. So, you know you are a TCK when...

• Someone asks you what is in your back pack and you say, "My passport"
• Someone ask you what is in your back pack and you say, "Chai"
• You are 4 months old and you have a passport
• You have been to 5 countries before age 2.5
• Riding on an airplane is a regular event
• "The power is off" is a phrase you frequently utter throughout the day
• It does not phase you to walk by a cow, pig, goat as you walk down the street
• Strangers take your picture more often than your parents do
• Other children treat you more like a toy/doll than a friend
• You prefer paneer over french fries...
• You ask to take your shoes off whenever you walk into a building
• You have been the bowler for your neighborhood cricket match
• You know about places like Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Nepal...
• You call a US quarter a rupee

I am sure there are more, and more will become apparent as our children get older, this will do for now.

Is your husband your friend?

There are many differences between my home culture and my present culture, but one that is strikingly different to me in my relationships with women is marriage.  The norm here is arranged marriage.  For most this means that a girl's parents or elders, through the means of relatives and friends, find a suitable match for the girl in a boy who will hopefully be able to provide for her financially in the future.  This looks different depending on caste and wealth, but for the most part the boy and girl barely know each other before they "say I do" (to use an American colloquialism".  Typically the young couple goes to live with the groom's family where the bride learns from her mother-in-law how to take care of the house, and if she is lucky, it is an amiable agreement.  A lot of the time the bride spends more time with her mom-in-law than with her husband.  (Though many also live on their own as young couples as job, wealth...allow).
     I often wonder about the intimate details of these marriages since they are so different from ours.  I have read novels set in Eastern cultures that talk portray life for woman in an arranged marriage, but what is real? How is it different for Christians?  I have often wondered in going into friends' one room homes in which everyone sleeps within the same four walls how there is enough privacy for intimacy...
   So one day I was talking to Sangita and the subject came up to where I could ask her discreetly about these things.  At first I tried to go about it using a commercial where a young woman talks about finding her "love day" with her arranged husband (the day she realized she loved him), but Sangita did not understand this. So I just asked her to tell me her story.
    Sangita and her husband were distant relatives.  He is nine years her senior and the son of a pastor and teacher of local dialect.  He did not have a job.  They were betrothed when Sangita was 16, but waited two years to be married.  During that time they never talked.  I can't imagine having never talked to my husband before my wedding day.  After they were married they went to live with his parents in a very small house.  They fought a lot due to their differing views on things and Sangita admits that she was often very angry. Very soon Sangita became pregnant with her first child, then her second, and then her third.  Things got better in the family because Sangita made Jesus her Lord and she learned to serve her husband who is very impatient, drinks, and is very demanding.  He got a job and things improved.  They moved into a larger house- 3 rooms for 7-8 people...
There are a lot of gaps in the story.
     Then I asked, "So you have been married for 20 years.  Is your husband your friend?" She quickly shook her head and said no.  She said that there was never any way for them to become friends because they never had any privacy.  For a long time she has shared a bedroom with her son while her husband sleeps outside.  She said that they have never been alone to just talk and get to know each other.  They don't know each others' hopes and dreams or what makes them happy.  She said that she wouldn't let that happen to her son and daughter-in-law.  Before her 19 year old son gets married she is going to make sure that they have a room to call their own (this means either both sisters have to get married or the grandpa has to die before he can get married).
    Despite the fact that there is no friendship, no romance, really no relationship with her husband, Sangita talks about how she serves him.  She fixes all of his meals for him, takes care of him in sickness, goes to work to pay the bills since he is sick, carries water on her head so they can bathe, takes him to doctor appointments, raised three kids... She did not do this because she loved her husband or because she got love in return, but because it is her duty as a wife.  What a different perspective.  Americans are so filled with a sense of entitlement.  I am so filled with a sense of entitlement that if I do not feel properly loved or romanced by my husband then I do not want to serve him.  But this is definitely not what the Bible teaches.  I am thankful that I have a husband who strives to love me like Christ loves the church, but even if he did not, I am still supposed to submit to him and be his help mate.
    My neighbors work so hard in their homes all day long to serve their husbands (none of whom are Christians) because it is their duty.  I am sure that some of them are actually friends with their husbands, but some are not.  It just encourages me to be a better help mate and thank God that my marriage is based on more than duty.

Dear Momma

This Mother's Day I find that I appreciate you even more as a mother of two than as a mother of one.  I am so thankful that God knit me together in your womb and allowed me to be raised by you, for you are the best mom that I could ask for.  You are truly worthy of praise and emulation.  You teach me so much about what it means to be a mom, wife, friend, woman of God...
    A few words I think of when I think of you are: selflessness, servant, sacrifice, intercessor, studious, assiduous, and shopper.
    I think selflessness, servitude, and sacrifice go hand in hand and were ever apparent on you most recent trip to see us.  I don't know that I could ever thank you enough for all that you did for us on that trip, preparing things to bring for us, buying groceries, cooking, doing dishes, doing laundry, playing with Silas, holding Evelynn, getting bit by a dog (you sacrificed you leg for us), and being away from your own home and life for 6 whole weeks.  But it isn't just with your own daughters that you are this way, but you expend yourself for others as well.  You and Dad have been an amazing example to me of giving of yourself (not just money) to help others in need, whether physical, emotional, psychological... You are such a great friend, mentor, surrogate mother/sister to everyone who needs it.  It is not easy to be selfless and I know that I still have a long way to go as I learn to be the mother God wants me to be, but thank you so much for showing me what it looks like.
    Your prayers for me/us mean the world to me and have moved many mountains/mole hills.  I love so much  that you pray for me in the middle of the night (the middle of my day) and all throughout the day as well.  It brings me comfort to know that I am bathed in your prayers and I pray that I will be faithful to do so great a service to my children as well.
    Studious- I so appreciate the way you study the Word and are constantly learning new things in the world around you.  Though you have much wisdom, years of life experience and years of studying the word, you approach things so humbly, always ready to learn something new.  I will always remember coming home from school one day to find the kitchen table covered with commentaries and Bible dictionaries as you earnestly sought to find an answer to something.  I am also deeply touched by the way you seek to learn things from me.  As one who is often too proud in my knowledge or experience, I greatly admire that you are a life long learner.
     Your diligence astounds me.  Yes, you know how to play, but you have modeled to me how to be diligent in the home and in ministry.  If you are given a job (or take on a job) I am 100% sure that you will complete it with excellence.  I am learning that moms are professional jugglers.  They don't start out that way, they learn, and you have learned the art of multi-tasking well.
  Ok, so I was on an S kick and I had to throw in a little humor, but you have to admit, that you are good at shopping.  Like I said, I so appreciated you doing our grocery shopping for us in Delhi, but it certainly doesn't stop at groceries.  As a girl I love that you love to shop for your daughters, and I have to say that I have caught this from you.  I rarely buy anything for myself because I am stingy, but when it comes to my kids, it is hard to resist.  Thank you for being wise in your purchases and generous toward others.  I would have gone unclothed and deprived of good food in seminary had it not been for you :).
   That are many other things I could say about you, but I just want you to know that I think you are the best, I love you a bunch, and I pray that I will learn to be a mom and woman like you!

Giving little one a bath

Hurt back, puncture wounds in calf, loving on my big boy

Singing praises with Silas

Three generations 

Blue-eyed Stoupa

I am sitting here in my hotel room staring out the window at the the blue eyes of the largest Buddhist Stoupa in the world.  What is a stoupa? I don't really know.  It a large round dome with a gold tower on the the top and a face much the totems on a totem pole.  We went to eat at a Tibetan restaurant today and it was situated in the shopping area around the stoupa. All round the outside wall of the stoupa are prayer wheels and pilgrims/tourists come along and spin the wheels- for what purpose I don't know.  It is a tourist site, a world heritage site, a place people come to look for faith.  There are a lot of people from all over the world here in this city looking for faith.  I met a girl yesterday from China who came here to look for faith and now she is trying to get a visa for India so that she can find faith there.  It breaks my heart.
    And it breaks my heart perhaps more that many of the people here looking for faith are from the West.  Many from European countries where the Christian faith was once strong, where great theologians who shaped movements and missionaries who traveled to distant lands once resided.  I that there is still faith there in those lands, but it is so sad to me how many from the West come to find faith in this land of darkness, where the idols stare you in the face and shout out to me, "I have eyes but I cannot see, I have ears but I cannot hear, I have hands but I cannot help you".  What is it that drives people to travel to distant lands to find the answer in images made of wood, gold, and clay when their creator and saviour is calling out to them from the mountains, seas, flowers, trees... "Here I am! I love you! I have eyes and I see you, I have ears and I hear you, I sent my son son for you so that you no longer have to strive with sin and the futility of this world..."  And yet they don't listen.  Their eyes are blinded.
    And so as I stare into the blue eyes, surrounded by Buddhist prayer flags, I send a petition to my God who hears.  Save these lost and searching souls!!!

Baking with Fruit

I have a child who refuses to eat fruit. I think he would like it if he would put it in his mouth, but he won't.  So, during Silas and mommy time we have started doing some baking with fruit.  We experimenting with replacing butter with different fruit purees.  So far we have make: Banana Mango Bread, Banana Peanut Butter Cookies, Pumpkin Spice Granola, Mango Coconut Granola, and Banana Spice Granola.  I try not to use much sugar either.  The bread didn't have any sugar in it and the other two just had brown sugar or jaggery (dehydrated molasses) in less quantity than it would normally call for because of the fruit's sweetness.
    I really like the cookies we made today.  I didn't measure, but it went something like this:
1 cup mashed banana
1/3 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 cup whole grain flour
some baking soda
some baking powder
some cinnamon
1/2 tsp vanilla
oats

Silas helped me measure and thus it is impossible to get an accurate read.  I started with about a cup of flour and then kept adding until I had the right consistency. 190 C degree oven for about 12 minutes.

Mango Coconut Granola
6 cups oats
1 cup pureed mango
3/4 cup brown sugar/jaggery (varies depending on sweetness of mango)
1Tbsp honey
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp turmeric
pinch of salt

 Spread out on cookie sheet. (you will have to use a few cookie sheets). Bake in 160 degree Celsius oven for 15 minutes.  Flip and then bake another 10-20 minutes depending on size of clusters.
Add shredded coconut and raisins (that is what I had available but other dried fruits or nuts would be good as well)

Learning from those with "less"

Life here is not as convenient as life in America.  It is necessary to sweep and mop the floors every day, we have no dishwasher, no clothes dryer (so thankful for a washing machine), all food is made from scratch (pretty much)... For this reason, I have been praying for a while that God would send us a reliable house helper who could do some cooking and cleaning so that I could focus on my children, learning language, and doing other ventures (because I could seriously spend all day just cleaning my house and cooking).  And God has answered this request and she was worth the wait!  She is not only my house helper, but she is my teacher in so many ways.  We spend about 2 hours a day speaking in Hindi about all different things and during this time she teaches me not only language and culture, but how to see our world differently and how to appreciate God more.
    Sangita doesn't have much.  She lives with her husband, father-in-law, son, and two daughters (all teens).  Her husband used to work to support the family, but he was injured about 5 years ago and has been unable to work since then.  They have been living off of the father's pention, government rations, and whatever income she brings in.  While the government gives flour and rice, the flour is mixed with dust and the rice is full of bugs. They have a house, but electricity is limited, they pump their water from a well, and she cooks part of their meal outside over a wood fire.  But she knows that for everything she must give thanks to God for his goodness and provision for them.  She has told me stories of those with less.  People who work out in the sun all day long carrying dirt on their heads...and yet they praise the Lord.  They praise him because He has recently saved them out of darkness and into his glorious light!  They know what it is like to live life without God and they are so thankful for the hope, joy, peace that they now have.  They know that even though they have so very little, they have everything they need!
   And so I think about my own life.  I think about how it is easy to complain when the power goes off while you are taking a shower, or when you come home and no water comes out of your faucet, or when your a/c drips water...and yet there are so many things to be thankful for in that sentence.  God I am so thankful that I have electricity most of the time to run lights, fans, ovens, a/cs... I am thankful for a warm shower that is inside my house and has water coming from it 99% of the time...I am thankful for clean water that comes through a tap and pure drinking water that comes easily through my filter...I am thankful for an a/c in 100+ temperatures.  And even if I didn't have those things, I am thankful for a family to spend time with by flashlight, neighbors who generously give us their water, food to eat, good health, friends who pray for me...
And even if I didn't have those things, I am thankful that I have hope.  I have hope of a future glory far beyond anything that I can imagine on earth.  Hope of spending eternity with my creator, sustainer, redeemer, God who loves me so much that he gave his son for me.  So thankful that my sins are forgiven and that I am at peace with the almighty God!  

Content to Angry

I just love the progression of these photos from content, to annoyed, frustrated, and down right angry.

"Kiss me and I'll whack you in the face"

"The hat is the last straw"

Picture Dump

We are finally headed home.  Our flight was delayed so we are standing around waiting for Evelynn's first flight.

Back home! Walking to baggage claim.

Play time with dad.  This is our upstairs landing that I turned into a playroom.  I have wanted to post pictures of our house, but I still haven't really decorated after almost a year.  I designed the storage unit on the left and had the bins brought from the USA.

Our adopted "aunties" painting Evelynn's letters to hang on the wall.  This is the living room.  Notice the completely blank walls.  

Evelynn sleeping under her mosquito net.  In this heat I am so thankful she doesn't need to be swaddled to sleep.

Bath time!

Hangin' with daddy on the bed.  E sleeps in our room right now.

not such a great picture of Evelynn, but it works.