When going to Church Isn't Worship

On most Sundays we attend a church that has about 250-300 people in attendance. The pastor preaches good sermons from the Bible over a good sound system, the music is upbeat- Christ-centered..., there is a projector that displays the words of the songs and the Bible passage, and the people all around us are engaged in worship.  It is actually a really good environment in which to learn God's word and worship him, and yet I find myself doing the exact opposite of worship when I go to church- I complain.
   Last week looked something like this...
Rain- lots of rain- JP let me and Evelynn out of the car and then he parked. We were on time (early) so he got an easy parking spot. We got upstairs and started singing, but Silas wanted to run around (out the sanctuary and down the wheel chair ramp that the kids use as a slide), and Evelynn was being loud and squirmy because she didn't get her full nap in before we headed to church. So I don't think any of us ended up singing during the music time.  When it was sermon time it was JP's turn to take Silas down to the kid class (one of has to go otherwise he runs around and sometimes even into the street because no one is watching him). I kept Evelynn with me and tried to feed her at the back of the sanctuary hidden under my dupata, but she is now to the age where she cannot eat with distractions, so after trying to feed her on the floor, I finally went downstairs to try to find a place to feed her.  I went back upstairs to try to listen to the rest of the sermon, and though it sounded like a good one, Evelynn was too squirmy for me to be able to concentrate enough to understand the Hindi, so I just went back downstairs to find JP and just go.  JP and Silas were just coming out to find us, so we walked the short distance to the car in the rain and then noticed that we were completely boxed in.  With the help of some random guy, we finally made it out, but we were complaining and wondering what the point of going to church was anyway since we didn't sing, didn't hear the sermon, and didn't stay around long enough to talk to anyone.
   So this morning we really didn't want to go to church, but we couldn't figure out where else we could go- I felt guilty not going- so we went.  And the complaining started- where are we supposed to park so that we are not blocking anyone else in and not blocked in ourselves? How to avoid walking in mud, Silas making too much noise, Evelynn squirming and not wanting to sleep...Finally Evelynn and I left to find a place to change her diaper and as I was doing so I thought- going to church isn't worship- I am just complaining.  And I had to confess this.  Because worship is not about being able to sing the songs or listen to sermon... worship is about the attitude of my heart.  I could go to church and not sing one song or understand one word of the sermon, but worship God just with my heart. Going to church does not = worship, singing a "worship song" does not = worship, listening to a sermon does not = worship.  But a heart of praise, a heart of thanksgiving, a heart of submission.
    I am thankful that we went to church today.  Though we did not hear much of the sermon, we hung around until the end and got to talk to a lot of people and make some contacts that will hopefully lead to fellowship. And hopefully next week I will go to church with a heart of worship rather than complaint- as we learn to do church with bad parking lots, no child care and another language. 

And some with Silas

Silas is 2 3/4.  He is getting to be so grown up in many ways and then in others he is definitely 2.  He tries to be independent, but he also like help with some things. He has been going to school 3 days a week and really likes it! 

It normally starts out innocently.  Silas will lovingly lay his head on Evelynn, she will smile and grab his hair...and it eventually ends with Silas sitting on top of her and me splitting them up before he jumps on her. 

Happy Independence Day!

My big boy is such a talker.  I don't spend a lot of time with 2 year olds, but I think Silas is pretty smart.  He likes to talk about all kinds of things, like going to the "blue doctor" and Bangladesh. He can identify the letter of the alphabet and tell you what sound each letter makes. His school says that he is learning rhymes in Hindi, but I haven't heard them yet.
   Silas loves to run- and he loves to run away.  He also loves riding in airplanes, autos, taxis, trains, cars and would be super excited if he got to ride in a helicopter.
  Silas still loves to read books and he has started "reading" to himself more.  Today I watched Silas on a video monitor all during his nap today because he has started doing some bad things during nap time.  He did not sleep a wink, but he kept singing, talking to himself, and reading books.
  Silas loves to laugh! I love my little Silas man even if these illogical twos are driving me crazy.

6 month Sweetie

Sweetie is a good word to describe Evelynn at 6 months, that and a little toot, wiggle worm, squeeler, fireball.  I tell you, that girl is going to be a handful once she figures out how to get moving.  Just to give example, the other day I sat Evelynn on the floor in Silas's room while I started a load of laundry a few feet away, and when I turned around she was gone.  I quickly found her playing with toys under Silas' bed. Then, I put her hair in pig tails yesterday.  I set her down to strip the sheets off the bed, turned around and one rubber band was missing- swallowed.  I gotta keep my eyes on that girl!

I put one pigtail back too far so you can't see it from the front.  It took forever to get a picture of the top/back view because She kept turning to look at the camera.

Before we had fully decided on our name for our girl, I hesitated with Evelynn because I knew that it would be difficult for the people around here to say.  And I was right.  I don't think anyone says it correctly.  It normally comes out as "Ellen", "Evan", "Elyn" or some variation. I have thrown around the idea of giving her a Hindi name, but I just can't decide.  I should just have people call her Sophia.  Of course everyone calls her "Guria" meaning "doll". They say that she looks exactly like a doll.

At this point Evelynn has tried to eat oats, banana, and rice cereal, but she hasn't really taken to any of them.  I think she is just too full from her milk and isn't hungry.  It is hard for me to get her to drink much milk before she goes to bed around 7:15, so she has been getting up around 10:30 every night to feed and then one more time before my alarm goes off at 5:30.  Silas was sleeping from 7:30-6 by 4 months, so I am having a difficult time figuring her out. One thing I know is that she eats when she wants to- you can't make her stock up on milk or cereal before going to bed.

Funny Habits: She is not a peaceful eater.  She is always playing with hair or looking around while she nurses.  She always puts her left hand behind her head before she goes to sleep- it is a good signal that she is sleepy.

She just got in 2 teeth.
Still in mostly 3-6 month clothing