On most Sundays we attend a church that has about 250-300 people in attendance. The pastor preaches good sermons from the Bible over a good sound system, the music is upbeat- Christ-centered..., there is a projector that displays the words of the songs and the Bible passage, and the people all around us are engaged in worship. It is actually a really good environment in which to learn God's word and worship him, and yet I find myself doing the exact opposite of worship when I go to church- I complain.
Last week looked something like this...
Rain- lots of rain- JP let me and Evelynn out of the car and then he parked. We were on time (early) so he got an easy parking spot. We got upstairs and started singing, but Silas wanted to run around (out the sanctuary and down the wheel chair ramp that the kids use as a slide), and Evelynn was being loud and squirmy because she didn't get her full nap in before we headed to church. So I don't think any of us ended up singing during the music time. When it was sermon time it was JP's turn to take Silas down to the kid class (one of has to go otherwise he runs around and sometimes even into the street because no one is watching him). I kept Evelynn with me and tried to feed her at the back of the sanctuary hidden under my dupata, but she is now to the age where she cannot eat with distractions, so after trying to feed her on the floor, I finally went downstairs to try to find a place to feed her. I went back upstairs to try to listen to the rest of the sermon, and though it sounded like a good one, Evelynn was too squirmy for me to be able to concentrate enough to understand the Hindi, so I just went back downstairs to find JP and just go. JP and Silas were just coming out to find us, so we walked the short distance to the car in the rain and then noticed that we were completely boxed in. With the help of some random guy, we finally made it out, but we were complaining and wondering what the point of going to church was anyway since we didn't sing, didn't hear the sermon, and didn't stay around long enough to talk to anyone.
So this morning we really didn't want to go to church, but we couldn't figure out where else we could go- I felt guilty not going- so we went. And the complaining started- where are we supposed to park so that we are not blocking anyone else in and not blocked in ourselves? How to avoid walking in mud, Silas making too much noise, Evelynn squirming and not wanting to sleep...Finally Evelynn and I left to find a place to change her diaper and as I was doing so I thought- going to church isn't worship- I am just complaining. And I had to confess this. Because worship is not about being able to sing the songs or listen to sermon... worship is about the attitude of my heart. I could go to church and not sing one song or understand one word of the sermon, but worship God just with my heart. Going to church does not = worship, singing a "worship song" does not = worship, listening to a sermon does not = worship. But a heart of praise, a heart of thanksgiving, a heart of submission.
I am thankful that we went to church today. Though we did not hear much of the sermon, we hung around until the end and got to talk to a lot of people and make some contacts that will hopefully lead to fellowship. And hopefully next week I will go to church with a heart of worship rather than complaint- as we learn to do church with bad parking lots, no child care and another language.
Last week looked something like this...
Rain- lots of rain- JP let me and Evelynn out of the car and then he parked. We were on time (early) so he got an easy parking spot. We got upstairs and started singing, but Silas wanted to run around (out the sanctuary and down the wheel chair ramp that the kids use as a slide), and Evelynn was being loud and squirmy because she didn't get her full nap in before we headed to church. So I don't think any of us ended up singing during the music time. When it was sermon time it was JP's turn to take Silas down to the kid class (one of has to go otherwise he runs around and sometimes even into the street because no one is watching him). I kept Evelynn with me and tried to feed her at the back of the sanctuary hidden under my dupata, but she is now to the age where she cannot eat with distractions, so after trying to feed her on the floor, I finally went downstairs to try to find a place to feed her. I went back upstairs to try to listen to the rest of the sermon, and though it sounded like a good one, Evelynn was too squirmy for me to be able to concentrate enough to understand the Hindi, so I just went back downstairs to find JP and just go. JP and Silas were just coming out to find us, so we walked the short distance to the car in the rain and then noticed that we were completely boxed in. With the help of some random guy, we finally made it out, but we were complaining and wondering what the point of going to church was anyway since we didn't sing, didn't hear the sermon, and didn't stay around long enough to talk to anyone.
So this morning we really didn't want to go to church, but we couldn't figure out where else we could go- I felt guilty not going- so we went. And the complaining started- where are we supposed to park so that we are not blocking anyone else in and not blocked in ourselves? How to avoid walking in mud, Silas making too much noise, Evelynn squirming and not wanting to sleep...Finally Evelynn and I left to find a place to change her diaper and as I was doing so I thought- going to church isn't worship- I am just complaining. And I had to confess this. Because worship is not about being able to sing the songs or listen to sermon... worship is about the attitude of my heart. I could go to church and not sing one song or understand one word of the sermon, but worship God just with my heart. Going to church does not = worship, singing a "worship song" does not = worship, listening to a sermon does not = worship. But a heart of praise, a heart of thanksgiving, a heart of submission.
I am thankful that we went to church today. Though we did not hear much of the sermon, we hung around until the end and got to talk to a lot of people and make some contacts that will hopefully lead to fellowship. And hopefully next week I will go to church with a heart of worship rather than complaint- as we learn to do church with bad parking lots, no child care and another language.
1 comment:
JC is enough, no matter the difficult circumstance, to be satisfied with him is all I need. If I can just remember that, it cuts out much complaining! I love and miss you and am using the guide daily!
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