Blessed are the Meek

I love living overseas!! There are many things that I like about being in the non-Western world (and of course many things that I miss) but the thing that means the most to me is how it challenges me and presses me to be more like Christ.  Really, it is the frustrations, the little trials, the negative things about living in a developing nation that has a completely different culture from my own that I cherish the most. 
    I was struggling with our language school and the way they do things, and struggling with some other things as well and I was getting stressed out because I wanted to be in control. (My way is the best way to do things, it is the most logical, the most just, and the most practical, so it should be done that way).  I soon realized that this did not come from the Christ in me and that I was protecting my rights and asserting my own ideas instead of trusting God. 
    Having been prompted by my reading of 2 John to dwell more in Jesus' teachings, I started reading Matthew 5.  Yes, I know these, "Blessed are the..."  v5 "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth".  Wait a second, what does it really mean to be meek?  I have heard that over and over again in this context, but who really uses that word in modern English?  So I checked the ESV commentary and God really spoke straight to my heart- the meek are "the gentle, those who do not assert themselves over others in order to further their own agendas in their own strenght, but who will nonetheless inherit the earth because they trust in God to direct the outcome of events".  OUCH! I am not so meek.  Sure I may appear meek on the surface, but inside (and to my meek husband) I am asserting my own agenda and telling people what for right and left. 
    Then I turned to Matthew 11:29 where Jesus says, "Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."  We are to learn from the meekness of Jesus.  I find that much of my weariness and stress comes from trying to make things logical, just, and my way in my own strenght, when Jesus teaches us to be gentle.  Jesus did not assert his own agenda, he set the example of meekness and the example of trusting the Father to work all things for good and for God's purpose.  So many of the things that I take on as my burden were never intended to be my burden.  Jesus is saying that I should not carry more than I was intended to carry, trust God.  Philippians 4:5-6 "The Lord [the God of the universe who created all things, sustains, all things, knows all things, has all power and is righteous, just, and good] is at hand [he is very near to us]; do not be anxious about anything".
   This is such amazing truth.  I am still having a difficult time applying it, but the incomrehensible peace is there when I do.